Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Nazi Love

Interesting dream last night. I can’t quite remember what happened in the beginning, but I met a guy named Sam. I called him Sammy. He wasn’t my boyfriend, but we cared about each other. I remember running into a trailer parked in a junkyard because some people were after me. Inside the trailer were other people in hiding. There were a lot of files. The others and I began looking through those files and that’s when I realized that the people who were after us were Nazis and we were being hunted down because we were Jews. We managed to wait it out until the Nazis gave up and the next thing I know, I’m at a party. It was more of a gathering with family and friends. It was at a house I didn’t recognize and mostly everyone was in the backyard on this beautiful deck with lights. Sammy was sitting at a plant box on the far end chatting with somebody and drinking a beer. I knew he was watching me as I walked out of the house and into the backyard, and that made me feel really happy. A big, black Labrador Retriever came up to me and I smiled and petted it. Once, it passed me a bit and was behind me, it started growling and barking. I followed its gaze to a gap in the fence, where a man with a gun was standing. The man knew he had been noticed and hopped over the fence and into the backyard. That was when some of the other guests at the party revealed themselves as Nazis, including Sammy. All of a sudden, they all had guns. They were out to get us. Everyone panicked and chaos erupted. I felt tears in my eyes. I was so hurt in finding out that Sammy was one of them and that he was only with me as part of their plan to murder us Jews. I just stood there because I was so heartbroken that I didn’t care whether they got me or not. The man who hopped the fence looked at me with such hatred, raised his gun, and pointed it at me. Several shots were fired. I thought I was done for, but Sammy had taken the bullets for me. Then everyone, Jews and Nazis alike, disappeared and only Sammy and I remained. I cradled him in my arms and I no longer shed tears of heartbreak, but of loss… Loss of a man I realized had truly loved me.

I have no idea what this could have meant. I am surely not a Jew. I’d like to believe Sammy represents my boyfriend, who I know would do anything for me. This was truly a weird dream for me, but I liked it. I remember hitting the snooze button several times and falling back asleep and each time, my dream would continue where it left off. It left me with that great feeling of being loved, but I hope that my loss in the dream isn’t a warning of some sort.

Sunday, December 27, 2009

ktfo

Last night, I had a dream that I was sitting across the table from my middle sister and a hot actor (Why, oh, why can't I remember who it was?!?!) was sitting next to her. I wanted to whisper something to my sister so I leaned across the table, but I felt really tired so I knocked out and hit my forehead on the table before I could even say anything. Then I felt like I was out of my body and I laughed along with my sister and the actor.

I guess this shows how tired I've been lately. I've been having the worst case of insomnia lately and it doesn't help that my niece gets up so early in the morning. I'm on vacation, damn it!

My dream switched to a conversation I was having with one of my boyfriend's friends from Guatemala, Carlitos. He hesitated, but then told me that my boyfriend had been seeing another girl a couple of years back when we were broken up. I felt so crushed but tried not to show it because we weren't together at the time, so it wasn't my place to be upset.

This one was weird. First, I have never even met Carlitos. I've only seen him on Facebook. Second, during the time my boyfriend and I were broken up, he was in Taiwan and not Guatemala, so of course, Carlitos' information was false. Hmmm... Trust issues?